Beating the back-to-school jitters: Expert advice for parents and students

Back-to-school season often brings a mix of excitement and anxiety for both students and parents. Whether it’s a child heading to kindergarten for the first time, a teenager entering high school, or even returning to familiar surroundings, the transition can stir up nerves. These jitters are perfectly normal but can sometimes become overwhelming, leading to stress and anxiety for both students and their parents.

With expert advice and thoughtful strategies, parents can help ease these back-to-school jitters and set their children up for a smooth, successful start to the new academic year. This guide offers insights from child psychologists, educators, and parenting experts on how to help both parents and students manage their anxieties, build confidence, and approach the school year with positivity.

Understanding the Back-to-School Jitters

The back-to-school jitters can manifest in many ways. Children may feel anxious about meeting new classmates, adjusting to new teachers, handling a heavier workload, or navigating social dynamics. These concerns are often coupled with the pressure to succeed academically or socially, which can amplify feelings of worry.

Parents, too, experience their own version of these jitters. Concerns about their child’s success, well-being, and happiness at school can cause sleepless nights and emotional stress. Whether it’s the fear of separation for parents of younger children or the apprehension about academic performance for older students, back-to-school anxiety affects the entire family.

Expert Advice for Parents to Support Their Children

Helping children cope with back-to-school anxiety requires a thoughtful, proactive approach. Here’s what the experts recommend:

1. Validate Their Feelings

According to child psychologists, one of the most important things parents can do is acknowledge and validate their child’s feelings. Anxiety often stems from the unknown, and allowing children to express their fears and concerns is the first step toward alleviating those worries.

What to do: Encourage your child to talk about what’s bothering them. Whether it’s concerns about making friends, navigating a new school building, or keeping up with homework, listen without judgment. Validate their feelings by saying things like, “I understand that you’re feeling nervous. It’s okay to feel that way—lots of kids do.” Offering empathy helps children feel understood and less alone in their anxieties.

2. Prepare and Plan Ahead

Preparation can ease anxiety by making the unknown more familiar. Planning ahead and giving children a sense of what to expect on the first day can help reduce their fears.

What to do: In the days leading up to school, take steps to familiarize your child with their new environment. Visit the school beforehand if possible, or take a virtual tour if the school offers one online. Walk through the morning routine, pack their backpack together, and rehearse the school drop-off process. Knowing what to expect can help make the first day of school less intimidating.

For younger children, practicing scenarios such as walking into the classroom, hanging up their coat, or saying goodbye can be helpful. For older students, reviewing their class schedule and discussing their upcoming responsibilities can provide clarity and reduce worry.

3. Establish a Consistent Routine

Routines offer a sense of stability and control, which is crucial for children (and parents) dealing with back-to-school jitters. Establishing a predictable routine helps ease transitions and builds a sense of normalcy during potentially stressful times.

What to do: Before school starts, gradually shift into the new routine. Begin waking up and going to bed at the times required during the school year, and reintroduce structured mealtimes. This helps children adjust to the rhythm of the school day before it begins.

Incorporating calming activities into the daily routine—such as reading together before bed or engaging in a morning relaxation practice—can also set a positive tone for the day ahead. Consistency helps children feel more secure and less overwhelmed by the upcoming change.

4. Model Positive Behavior

Children often take cues from their parents’ behavior. If parents are anxious about the return to school, children may pick up on that stress. Modeling calm, confident behavior can help reduce their anxiety.

What to do: Approach the school year with a positive attitude. Share your excitement about the opportunities the new school year brings and highlight the positives, such as seeing friends again, learning new things, or participating in fun activities. By modeling confidence and enthusiasm, you’re helping your child feel more at ease.

It’s also essential for parents to manage their own anxieties. Take time for self-care, whether that means practicing mindfulness, talking to a friend, or simply taking a break when you need it. A calm parent helps create a calm child.

5. Teach Coping Strategies

Teaching children how to manage their anxiety empowers them to face challenges with resilience. Coping strategies help them regulate their emotions and develop a sense of control when they start feeling overwhelmed.

What to do: Introduce simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualization. Practice these strategies together, so they feel natural when your child needs to use them in a stressful situation.

Encourage your child to develop positive self-talk, which can help counter negative thoughts. For example, if they’re worried about making friends, teach them to say, “I’m friendly, and I will make friends,” instead of focusing on their fears. These techniques not only help children manage their back-to-school jitters but also equip them with lifelong emotional regulation skills.

6. Stay Connected and Involved

Maintaining an open line of communication with your child during the school year helps you stay attuned to their emotional state. Staying connected also reassures your child that you’re there to support them, even when they’re at school.

What to do: Ask specific questions about their day, such as “Who did you sit with at lunch?” or “What was your favorite part of the day?” This encourages more in-depth conversations than simply asking, “How was school?”

Set aside time to check in with your child regularly, especially during the first few weeks of school. Create a space where they feel comfortable sharing any concerns or challenges they face. Your involvement signals to your child that their emotions and experiences are important and that you’re there to help them navigate any difficulties.

Expert Advice for Students: Tips to Build Confidence and Reduce Anxiety

While parents play a crucial role in supporting their children, students can also adopt their own strategies to manage back-to-school anxiety. These expert-backed tips are designed to help students feel more confident and prepared for the new school year:

1. Focus on the Positives

Encouraging students to shift their focus to the positive aspects of the school year can help reduce anxiety. Remind them that school brings opportunities to reconnect with friends, learn new things, and participate in activities they enjoy.

What to do: Encourage students to make a list of the things they’re excited about—whether it’s a favorite class, an upcoming school event, or simply getting back into a routine. Focusing on the positives helps them reframe their thoughts and approach the new school year with a more optimistic mindset.

2. Start Small

Breaking down the first few days of school into manageable steps can help students feel less overwhelmed. Instead of thinking about the entire school year, encourage them to focus on smaller goals for the day or week.

What to do: Help your child set small, achievable goals, such as introducing themselves to a new classmate or organizing their backpack before school. Accomplishing these smaller tasks builds confidence and creates a sense of accomplishment.

3. Build a Support Network

Having a strong support network helps students feel more secure and less anxious about the return to school. Encourage them to reach out to friends, teachers, or school counselors when they need help.

What to do: Remind your child that it’s okay to ask for help, whether it’s seeking advice from a teacher or talking to a friend about their feelings. Encourage them to build connections with peers and remind them that everyone is navigating their own version of back-to-school jitters.

Conclusion

The back-to-school transition is a time of change and adjustment for both students and parents. While it’s normal to experience jitters, expert advice and proactive strategies can help make the transition smoother and less stressful. By validating feelings, preparing in advance, establishing routines, and teaching coping strategies, parents can support their children in building the resilience and confidence needed for a successful school year.

With the right approach, the back-to-school season can be an opportunity for growth, excitement, and connection—an experience that strengthens the bond between parents and children as they navigate new challenges together.